Full

Thanksgiving was 4 days ago but I am still full


of pride


of smiles


of laughter



of gratitude.

Lies I've told my kids over the long weekend purely for my own entertainment.

1. "We can't buy toys today because if you buy toys in December, Santa may get confused about what you have and not know what to give you for Christmas."

2. "Buffalo wings are the wings of tiny, flying buffalo. They only live in Texas, we used to see them all the time. Don't you remember?"

3. "Daddy spent all day cooking that turkey so we better eat the whole thing tonight. But I'm not hungry at all, so it's up to you guys."

4. "There are no children's shows on TV after 10am."

5. "Sure Ace, it's possible that your Nutcracker he may come alive and take you on a magical adventure. I wouldn't count on it, but it's possible".

Week of Thanksgiving

Confessions of a CF Husband http://cfhusband.blogspot.com/ posed this questions today:

"What would it look like if I spoke only words of gratitude the week of Thanksgiving?" and he invited his readers to join him in the challenge of trying to do exactly that, starting today.

I didn't read the entry until this afternoon so I'm a little late but I'm going to do my best to follow through and spend the entire week expressing gratitude for the abundant blessings in my life, even the ones I often overlook and take for granted.
I spend so much of my holiday season talking about how busy I am. There is so much to do, so many places to be. What I overlook is that each of those chores and errands and events represents a blessing. Why do I chose to complain about how long it can take to prepare a meal instead of stopping to give thanks that we are provided with plenty of food to eat? Why complain about my messy, loud house instead of stopping and appreciating that my children are here in it, healthy and happy enough to create messes in every room? Even on days when I seem to do everything wrong, I can go to bed thankful for the hope that I will do better tomorrow, and the opportunity to try.
So this week I'm going to dig a little deeper than just going around the table on Thursday night and thinking of something I'm thankful for. I'm going to try and think thankful thoughts and speak words of gratitude and to really feel the gratitude, not just speak empty words.
I'll start by saying Thank You to Nathan for the inspiration (today, and any day I read his blog).
Happy Thanksgiving Week to everyone.

They say what they mean, and they mean what they say.

For a few weeks now Julia and I have had a deal on the table. If she sleeps in her own bed all night, she gets lunch at the 99. As much as she loves the 99, she apparently likes sleeping at the foot of our bed with her head on my ankles even more because she has not cashed in on the deal until today. Last night she went to bed, in her bed, at 7pm and didn't emerge until 7:15 am. It was an amazing feat considering that Lucy (who shares her room) was up crying at least 8 times between 10pm and 5am so she really earned today's lunch. Of course there were other factors. Like the fact that she has been fighting a stomach bug all week that has wiped out all her energy which may have helped her reach this goal. I know it seems ridiculous to reward behavior that was brought on by a stomach bug with a hearty meal of grilled cheese, fries, and an ice cream sandwich but my parenting style is pretty much a study in ridiculousness so, well, there you go.
So it was off to the 99 after school today. She was so proud and excited, she announced to the greeter and our waiter that we were there because she sleeps in HER bed. Then we sat in our booth and she looked around and her face fell. She looked at me and said:

"There's no one here."
(It was lunch hour so the place wasn't packed but it wasn't exactly empty.)

"Babe, there are a lot of people here, see?"

"No one that I want is here."

"Oh, like who?"

"Grandma and Grandpa, I want to come back when we can meet them here"

See, even the awesomeness of the 99 is nothing when compared to being with her peeps.



Ace is doing so well at school but by Thursday after school he starts having trouble dealing with his emotions. He is overtired and rude and spends a good part of Thursday afternoon kicking his toys to express himself. At first I said it was okay for him to kick things as long as he wasn't near people but then it started to annoy me and ruin his toys so I'm working harder at getting him to express his feelings in words. Obviously we are making progress because today we had this conversation:

"Mommy, can you buy me a Thunderbird jet?"

"No."

"Mooommmm, I can't ever feel good at all when you say that to me! You make me so angry in my whole body when you say NO!"

It really doesn't get more clear or expressive than that.

It won't be like this for long...

This song by Darius Rucker



was popular when Lucy was just a few months old and I would listen to it, tears streaming down my face as I was up late with her. We would be up at 4 am for the 3rd time that night and I would rock her and nurse her and treasure each moment, thinking that in a few short weeks she would be sleeping in her crib not in my arms and those days of late night feedings would be a thing of the past. Well, now she is 14 months and we are still in "those days". She is still up many times between her bedtime at 7:30 and the time we start our day around 7:30 am. I'm still up with tears streaming down my face at 4 am, but now they are tears of pure exhaustion.
You never know, tomorrow she may decide that she doesn't need to check on us every few hours. She may give up nursing every 3 hours and suddenly decide that milk in a cup isn't the most ridiculous thing she's ever heard of. And then these days really will be over. Maybe that will be harder than I think. Maybe I will miss these days and find out that sleeping for more that 2 hours at a time is overrated. But you know, I think I'm ready to find out.

Lucy vs. The Wall

I woke up today optimistic. Monday isn't my favorite day of the week but today felt like a fresh start. We had all had a good night of sleep, everyone was healthy. We had plans. Plans that involved getting out of the house and being busy and productive. And then Lucy hit a wall. I mean that literally. She hit a wall. With her head. Hard.
I wasn't in the room, I was putting on makeup and I heard a thunk and some crying and Ace came running talking about blood so I ran. There was so much blood. And she was crying so hard. I just swooped her up, yelled at Andy "ANDY! Hospital! Now!" And he came running and tried to calm me down and then he saw the blood and the cut and went suddenly very pale. He grabbed a dishtowel and told me to hold it on her head and get in the car. He ran out with a shoeless Julia and a freaked out Ace and we were at the hospital in record time. Before I keep going at this dramatic pace, I have to point out that it really wasn't so bad. It was a deep, scary cut and faces tend to bleed a lot but it was okay. It was really okay. I have to keep reminding myself of that, even hours later.
At the hospital we were rushed to our little "room" and the bleeding and Lucy's crying had stopped so I was breathing normally again. I think Lucy was wondering where we were and why everyone was in such a rush and all she wanted was everyone to stop rushing and yelling and crying and give her some milk and hugs. So I sat and did just that while we waited for the doctor. After a minute she sat up and smiled at me and I took another big breath. The doctor came in and checked her out and a few minutes later she was wrapped up in a "papoose" and it took 3 nurses to hold her down because my girl is no one to be trifled with. I stood at her feet and secretly unwrapped her toes so I could hold them. She got four stitches and a popsicle. By the time we left the hospital she was laughing and wanted me to chase her around the lobby. I just held her so tightly and didn't want to set her down. All day everything seemed very dangerous, even our new soft rug in the living room seemed hazardous. So I just held her all day which annoyed her. But I needed to keep her safe. Because this morning for a minute I didn't and I can't always. I just needed to hold her close, maybe tomorrow I'll be able to let her go a little. But probably not.

I have a Halloween post waiting in the wings but it needs pictures and my camera is malfunctioning so that will have to wait. I'm now thinking that all those times I've handed over the camera in order to quiet a whiny toddler and let them take 1000 pictures of their fingers over the lens maybe were a bad idea because now it won't even turn on.
After a great Halloween, our week started off with Andy getting sick. Now Andy, Ace, and Lucy have some sort of virus, Julia still has a runny nose, and I am extra tired because everyone is up so much during the night it is hard to get a good night of sleep. Hayley is the only one who has kept a normal schedule so it has been an off sort of week. Thankfully, everyone seems to be on the upswing. Yesterday I finally got out for a bit with Ace and Hayley to Trader Joes and realized how long it had been since I had been out of the house wearing actual pants. I had pretty much lived in sweatpants since Sunday. Today was storytime and Ace and I went to the park before school. It was so nice to have a busy morning for once that didn't involve a marathon of Fresh Beat Band. I'm ready for wellness.
The end of Daylight savings time is also throwing me off a little. Lucy refuses to acknowledge the time change so now she's been waking up at 5 am and is ready to start our day. By the time I convince her that it is not time to get up and she finally dozes off, it is 7 am and I have time for a 25 minute nap before everyone else is up. We've been taking a lot of afternoon naps. Also, just to keep things exciting, Andy has left a few of the clocks set to Daylight Savings time. This guarantees that at least once a day I will glance at the clock and freak out because I think I'm an hour late to pick someone up at school. It keeps me on my toes.

And here, since I have no new pictures, is an old picture of Hayley holding a Happy Bucket:

Playing Favorites

Since I came back from my trip to NC, the kids have invented a new game. When we are getting ready to go out they always ask "Are you going, Mommy?" and when I say yes they dramatically sigh and say "Oh, we don't want YOU to go. Just Daddy. He's more fun" I think that this is their passive aggressive way of saying they are still a little peeved at me for my trip because they did the same thing to Andy for weeks after his trip in August but still, it stings a little. And sometimes I get back at them by making them listen to NPR in the car instead of their Animal Cracker CD. Hey, two can play the passive aggressive game.

Even after 7 years parenting together I still am competing with Andy for the Fun Parent Award. I spend hours and hours training, yet I'm always at a disadvantage. I blame 2 things: one, my terrible aim and two, my weak bladder. My terrible aim came into play in one of the main events in the Fun Parent Olympics: The Bedtime Toss. Andy is a pro, he can spin the kids around and release them at top speed, yet they still land softly and gently on whatever soft surface they are being tossed onto. He makes it look so easy, I was sure I could compete. Then came the night in 2007 when Ace asked me to step in for Andy for his bedtime toss. I did the spin, maybe not as fast as Andy, but still not bad, then the release, then the...THUNK. Ace missed the bed by a good foot and a half and landed on his (Thank God, carpeted) floor with the THUNK. One really embarrassing call to the pediatrician and an icepack later and I knew that my bedtime tossing days were over.
My weak bladder has caused me to be disqualified from countless Tickle Mommy and Jump On her Belly competitions. Let me state for the record that I never have actually wet my pants, but it has still put a swift end to many tickle fights. You can't be the fun parent and the potential pants wetter at the same time.
So no matter how many games of Crazy Eights I play with the kids, no matter how much time I spend pretending to be Freddy from ICarly or staying up late to sew patches on Ace's Fireman costume, I still only get the Silver, never the coveted Gold Medal of Funness.
My niece is only 6 months but my sister already knows my pain. She carried C. for 9 months (and a few extra days), nurses her day and night, cares for her lovingly even when she is sick and exhausted, but still my brother in law is the one rewarded with the biggest grins and all he has to do is walk in the room. I'm not saying that my brother in law isn't a great dad too and he certainly deserves those big grins but come on, what's a mom gotta do to win? Katherine,I suggest you start practicing the toss immediately.

Sometimes being the less fun parent has it's advantages. Like today for example, the kids have requested that Andy take them trick or treating. And someone has to stay home and guard the candy and test it frequently to make sure it is still fresh. I supposed that that is the job of the less fun parent, and that doesn't seem so bad.

Now and Then revisited.

Remember a few days ago when I was having a crazy day but I was feeling so happy and appreciative and blessed? Remember how I was peacefully folding laundry and smiling upon my children as they played happily at my feet? Yeah. That was nice. Today, on the other hand, I yelled at Andy because he had to go to work early, kicked the pumpkin on our front stoop because it tripped me, and told Julia that the Wonderpets were not coming on TV today because they gave mommies headaches. Yeah, today is not my best day.

So, to cheer myself up I'm posting these pictures. Because for some reason beyond my earthly comprehension, God made these children and thought they belonged here with me. Maybe He didn't know they would be exposed to unprovoked pumpkin- kicking. Maybe He didn't know just how much I would need to look at these faces every single day, headache or not. Or, maybe He did.

Then and Now

When I was 20, I was under the pressure of attending classes (a solid 60% percent of the time, I think. And sometimes in my pajamas), student teaching 4 days a week, and keeping my job as the worst waitress in the history of the profession. Every few weeks my roommate and I would take what I felt was a much deserved break and do nothing but sleep past noon, watch movies, drink mountain dew, and eat pringles and peanut m&ms for a day. It was my Do Nothing Day, and it was glorious. College life was good.
Fast forward 11 years, today is Monday and Hayley and Ace are the only ones who have school and there are no extracurricular activities. So from 6-12:30, I have a Do Nothing Morning. Here is a little peek at my morning thus far:
6am-8am: Woke up to Lucy throwing up. Changed sheets. Bathed upset baby. Cuddled upset baby. Tried to convince upset baby that eating my apple cider doughnut may not be the best idea. Failed. Cleaned up regurgitated apple cider doughnut. Called pediatrician to report Lucy's status, pediatrician recommends pedialyte and cutting back on the doughnuts.
8am-10am: Breakfast for big kiddos, tried to keep baby occupied so she wouldn't notice the apple cider doughnuts. Failed. Wrestled doughnut out of baby's vice grip. Comforted angry, crying baby. Hayley off to school. Fancy Nancy tea party with Juju. Dinosaur tea party with Ace. Fold 2 loads of laundry. Turn my back for 1 minute. Refold 2 loads of laundry that Lucy has thrown across room. Remember that I haven't changed out of my pajamas the Lucy threw up on and decide I need to take a shower. Decide to go get computer instead and write about my morning.

So, no there are no movie marathons or potato chips in my Do Nothing Mornings anymore. Sometimes I miss the days when I thought I needed 12 hours of sleep to function and could actually get them. But nothing compares to my Do Nothing Mornings now. I don't even mind refolding the laundry because as I do it I get to watch Lucy entertain her brother and sister by pulling a pair of Ace's underwear over her head like a ski mask and giggle wildly. And I learned that dinosaurs discuss fire safety over tea and don't allow any unruly guests to try and bite the other dinosaurs' bottoms.

Life is good today. Life is very good today.