Saturday, June 2, 2012

The present

I keep waiting and waiting for the desire to blog to strike but it just isn't happening. I don't know what is to blame. The kids are as funny and entertaining as ever and I still have a desire to capture many moments to preserve in pictures or writing but something is missing. Maybe it is just that I have waited so long and feel like there is too much to sum up in a blog post and too many subjects that I completely skipped (Hayley's 10th! birthday for example) that picking up where I left off is impossible. Instead I'll do the next best thing, a fresh start. And hope that my precious memories from Spring 2012 don't fade because they weren't blogged (trust me, they won't). So, here is where we are now:

Lucy thinks winking is the coolest

Lucy: Finished her first year of preschool. She LOVED her teachers this year and jumped out of my arms into her teacher's arms after the end of year party and refused to leave. Adding 2 amazing teachers to her list of "dinosaur mamas" (the name she gives to women that she not-so-secretly would like to be her mom) is fine with me.

Julia: Graduated from preschool. Julia has changed so much from when she started preschool. That year I was terrified to send her to school because she was so nervous around anything unfamiliar. She would tremble and shake when faced with a social situation and I thought preschool would be too much for her. But, as she does, Julia proved that I worry too much and loved preschool. She made a friend and the were inseparable until we had to move. Again, Julia surprised me by how well she transitioned to a new place and a new school and she loved Ms. Ann and her preschool class this year. She made friends and as the last day of school approached she started crying at night because she was so sad it was over. It broke my heart and made me realize how much we have asked of Julia. So many changes in such a short time and I know she has been more scared and nervous than she shows. I know she is ready for kindergarten but part of me wishes we had more time to move more slowly through all these changes. For her sake AND mine.
Ace was showing off some dance moves and this happened. He was just excited that he face looked so huge in my picture.

Ace: 5 days away from finishing 1st grade. I am stressing to Ace that this is the summer of self control. He is starting to go off the rails a bit as the last week of school starts and I am hoping we can make it through a summer without daily tantrums from him. He is still learning how to keep his behavior in check when he is excited or frustrated or bored and it can drive me up the walls! But he is has such a kindness and vulnerability that it is difficult to stay mad. For at least a few minutes every day he is pure sweetness and it "bursts my heart" (a quote from his Mother's day card to me). Also, it can be difficult to follow through with consequences for his behavior when I see how genuinely bad he feels about losing control. That is something I have to work on before the summer so we don't spend the whole time yelling at each other like crazy people.

Hayley: One week away from the end of 4th grade. Did I mention this girl is 10 now? That completely floors me. I wake up in a sweat when I realize that the summers of her childhood are flying by us at such a pace and it makes me want to savor this one more than ever. I hope she isn't noticing that some of her friends are doing sleep away camps and trips away from their parents because I don't want to answer why she is not. Because I selfishly don't want to miss a week or two weeks or even a weekend of this time together. There just isn't enough of it.