I woke up today optimistic. Monday isn't my favorite day of the week but today felt like a fresh start. We had all had a good night of sleep, everyone was healthy. We had plans. Plans that involved getting out of the house and being busy and productive. And then Lucy hit a wall. I mean that literally. She hit a wall. With her head. Hard.
I wasn't in the room, I was putting on makeup and I heard a thunk and some crying and Ace came running talking about blood so I ran. There was so much blood. And she was crying so hard. I just swooped her up, yelled at Andy "ANDY! Hospital! Now!" And he came running and tried to calm me down and then he saw the blood and the cut and went suddenly very pale. He grabbed a dishtowel and told me to hold it on her head and get in the car. He ran out with a shoeless Julia and a freaked out Ace and we were at the hospital in record time. Before I keep going at this dramatic pace, I have to point out that it really wasn't so bad. It was a deep, scary cut and faces tend to bleed a lot but it was okay. It was really okay. I have to keep reminding myself of that, even hours later.
At the hospital we were rushed to our little "room" and the bleeding and Lucy's crying had stopped so I was breathing normally again. I think Lucy was wondering where we were and why everyone was in such a rush and all she wanted was everyone to stop rushing and yelling and crying and give her some milk and hugs. So I sat and did just that while we waited for the doctor. After a minute she sat up and smiled at me and I took another big breath. The doctor came in and checked her out and a few minutes later she was wrapped up in a "papoose" and it took 3 nurses to hold her down because my girl is no one to be trifled with. I stood at her feet and secretly unwrapped her toes so I could hold them. She got four stitches and a popsicle. By the time we left the hospital she was laughing and wanted me to chase her around the lobby. I just held her so tightly and didn't want to set her down. All day everything seemed very dangerous, even our new soft rug in the living room seemed hazardous. So I just held her all day which annoyed her. But I needed to keep her safe. Because this morning for a minute I didn't and I can't always. I just needed to hold her close, maybe tomorrow I'll be able to let her go a little. But probably not.