October

Can you believe it is October? No? Me neither. Summer is over. Long gone, just a fading memory of days at the beach and nights that don't start at 4pm. And now Lucy is One. Not almost one, about to be one, or just turned one. She is ONE. Not a infant anymore but still a baby. MY baby, always.

Despite my woe at not being the mother of a newborn anymore and the being within spitting distance of not being pregnant and/or nursing for the first time in almost 5 years, I am terribly excited about Fall. I love Fall. And I'm even more excited about my trip next week to meet my newest never before seen (by me) niece.

Now we are enjoying a great visit with my aunt and uncle and tonight we had pumpkin muffins with dinner so my house smells like pumpkins and fall and Halloween and that makes me happy. And sad. Because every change of season makes me feel happy and sad together. I miss the moments that slipped so quickly out of my grasp but I have so much to look forward too and so very much to enjoy in this very moment. So being happy and sad at the same time isn't all together a bad emotion. I'll just sit in it for now and enjoy the smell of the pumpkin muffins, the sound of Lucy snorkling a little in her sleep, and the sight of Julia who looks like a string bean in her green feety pajamas. Ahh, there. There is the happiness.